Pramatr Blog

Let me set the scene for you. You’re at a friends party and you meet up with some new people. After the opening pleasantries, the conversation soon comes around to your day job. So I start off with the obvious, “I’m a software developer.” This usually leaves people quite puzzled so I try a different approach, “I write computer software.” And it’s at this point you hear those words you dread so much, “ahhhh you work with computers!”.

I’ve always imagined it’s the same situation in lots of professions. You’re a doctor and someone asks you to have a look at a worrying mole they’ve just found. You’re a shop worker and someone wants to know if you’ll be able to get them a discount. You’re an airline worker and someone wants to know if you can get them a free upgrade to business class. You’re a psychologist and someone wants you to guess what they are thinking.

Now it just so happens that if you work with computers, you know everything about anything electrical.

“My video recorder isn’t working, any chance you could have a look at it?”

“My DVD player keeps jumping, do you know what’s wrong with it?

“Sky+ didn’t record last night, do you know how to reset it?

“I’ve just bought SpongeBob SquarePants print studio, how does it work?”

Now I’m sorry to say, the best advice I’m going to give you is “just turn it off, leave it a while and then turn it back on again”. People generally seem really vexed when I suggest this, and presume I must have not bothered attending any of my lectures in my four years at university. But trust me, this isn’t really what they teach you on a Software Engineering degree.

So I try to explain a little about what I actually do. It’s usually at this point I get polite nodding and smiling, I can feel the other person losing interest. After a little more explanation, I can feel the inevitable elephant in the room rearing it’s head and I really don’t want to let the other person speak. But eventually I have to take a breath, and that’s when you hear those dreaded words, “you might be able to help me, I have a problem with my computer at the minute”.

I do have a computer, I do know how they work, I know what all the parts are and what the acronyms stand for, I can build one and I also have an uncanny knack of being able to break mine on a regular basis. But, this isn’t really what I do for a day job. I really don’t enjoy doing it and I genuinely find it very frustrating when mine blows up. The last thing I want to do is try and fix someone else’s computer, only to receive a phone call three years later proclaiming that the computer isn’t working. As I was the last person to touch it, I must have obviously done something to break it (true story). I might try this approach with my mechanic when my car needs fixing again (think it will work?). Needless to say, fixing computers really isn’t my thing!

I really take my hat off to the people that do sort out hardware issues for a day job. I know I wouldn’t like to do it, and I really don’t envy their position when they meet new people, they really are “the computer guy”. No problem is beyond their supreme skills, and they usually can’t say no when someone asks them for help. You don’t have to talk to “the computer guy” between computer problems, so it’s quite an easy relationship to maintain. They obviously have too much spare time on their hands anyway as they’ll always come round to fix your computer problems. Best of all they’ll never charge you for taking up all of their spare time!

So next time I meet someone new, I’m going to try a new approach. I know nothing about moles, I can’t get you a discount or a free upgrade to business class and I really don’t know what you are thinking. I can’t fix a video recorder, a DVD player, a Sky+ box or tell you how to use SpongeBob SquarePants print studio. I did finish a four year Software Engineering degree and I really did attend some of the lectures, but I’m really not “the computer guy”. I’m a software developer, but I don’t work with computers.